at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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