Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
