Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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