Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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