Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
