I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
