she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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