I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
