I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize