hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
