i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
