i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
