Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
