I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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