I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
