3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
