My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize