My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
