Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
