I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
