Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
