I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
She tied me up with her honor cords...
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
