But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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