Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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