I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize
