I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
