i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
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