My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
