Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
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