so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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