I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize
