She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
