i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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