So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Sorry my hands just texted you
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Randomize
