we have officially lost it.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
