Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
