I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize