i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
