Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
