4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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