We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
