Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize