You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Randomize
