why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
