His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
