If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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