her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
