..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize