very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
