She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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