I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
