No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
