He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Randomize
