tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
