also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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