i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
