oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
